Pick Up The Goddamn Phone
Yep, the Mickey the Dunce factor is everywhere. It’s becoming a national trend. People have been texting and emailing so long, no one knows how to pick up the goddamn phone anymore. They got no yabba-dabba-do skills is what I’m saying, Short Pants Flynn.
Try paying a bill over the phone and see where you end up. I’ve had my Mobil gas card bill set on autopay for 30 years. Then it got bumped off when they switched to a third-party. I’ve been trying to pay them since August. I’m running out of gas, Charlie.
Extended hold times and zero customer service are some of the biggest gripes Americans have today. It’s the same everywhere you go. They start by asking you if you want English or Spanish. Sometimes I ask for Gaelic. What the hell, I’m just gonna be pressing buttons and hollering “Speak to a representative” into the horn for 45 minutes. And that’s if you hire a shamus to track down the business’s phone number. You ain’t gonna find it on their website, Billy Carter.
Speaking of talking on the blower, here’s a coupla things that happened to me last week.
First I was talking to my nephew, Mark “Spanky” Gallagher, who works as a political strategist for a Portland, Maine law firm. His old job was chief of staff for Senator Markey. Mark knows his stuff—and he’s a champion of Maine lobstermen and women. Anyway, when he's drumming up new business, he says he has the most success by picking up the goddamn phone. Apparently a lot of other Portland firms had baby boomer partners who have transitioned their clients to the next generation lawyers—and those lawyers aren’t picking up the goddamn phone. The clients are, though. They’re calling in to fire ‘em. People want to work with someone they can talk to, not just play e-mail ping-pong with, Jack.
The next day a new non-profit client told me part of winning their business was the fact that I pick up the goddamn phone.
What the Christ? Has it gotten so bad out there that answering the phone is now a competitive edge? That’s the real social media, Handkerchief Harry.
Keep Your dukes up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us18AUBM2RI
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