Cuttin' Corners

Yeah yeah, land of the free, who the hell are they kiddin’?

The other day my son Joe was telling me about how his dog Lefty, our official agency mascot, can usually count on getting a couple free munchkins at the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru in the morning. The person at the window sees ol’ Lefty mooning at them from the backseat and has no choice but to hand over a treat. Sure, there’s the occasional sourpuss who stiffs the pooch, but most of the time he gets what he’s looking for.

 

It got me thinkin’ about how nothing’s free anymore. When’s the last time someone gave you a basket of pretzels or popcorn when you bellied up to a bar? Outside of Costco, you never get a free sample at the supermarket. Most banks gave up on giving out dum-dum lollipops, which is a dum move. Hell, if you don’t specifically ask for napkins and a straw at most fast-food places, you’re out of luck.

People seem to have forgotten that free can be good for business. That basket of bar snacks makes you order more beer. That lollipop makes it easier to take your kid along with you to the bank. Costco gets it. The free samples (and the $1.50 hot dog) take the sting out of the fact that you’re probably going to drop more than $200 every time you walk in the place. And sometimes it just makes your day a little better, like seeing how excited Lefty gets when he rolls up to the Dunkin’ drive-thru. We could all use a little more of that.

Keep your dukes up.


 

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