That's Bullwinkle
What the Christ, I couldn’t let this one go by.
PETA has called for Major League Baseball, right in the middle of the World Series, to change the term “bullpen” to “arm barn.” They think arm barn would be more animal friendly since bullpen reinforces cruelty to cows and bulls. Whoa, Jackson! I’ve never seen cows or bulls out in the bullpen. The relief pitchers would be spending all their time with those big silver shovels scooping up manure and throwing it over the fence.
Leave it to PETA to throw this out right in the middle of the World Series. Hey Bub, baseball has been a much-needed escape during these crazy times. Then along come those PETA jackasses. Oh boy, they’ll be after me now. I just insulted donkeys.
I had a run-in with PETA many years ago when we handled the advertising for Gulf Coast Village, a retirement community in Cape Coral, Florida. We wrapped a bus with our “Old dogs, new tricks” campaign theme and we’d take a fun bunch of residents to oddball locations.
One idea was to do a TV spot at a retirement community for retired celebrity animals. There were a lot of famous old animal actors there, including a cheetah from the Tarzan movies, the horse from Mr. Ed and the gorilla from the old American Tourister luggage spots. We thought it’d be fun to have Gulf Coast residents interacting with these legendary old animals.
At first, the only sign of trouble was when we were warned about the American Tourister gorilla. Apparently, the goddamn ape could throw manure balls at speeds of over 100 miles an hour. Then came the curveball from the PETA piss-ants. They said what we were up to was cruel to the animals. What the hell did they think, that the retirees were gonna heckle the old beasts like a bunch of 7-year-olds?
Hey Billy Bob, Gulf Coast Village was going to pay a significant fee for the location shoot which would’ve helped pay for the care of the animals. But PETA prevailed and the TV spot was kaput. Whatta ya gonna do.
Back to the ballfield. You gotta watch the all-time greatest entrance by a pitcher from the bullpen. Keep your dukes up.