Rest In Peace
I got a call the other day from a Mergers and Acquisitions guy from Dallas, Texas. Real friendly cat. Jimmy McNulty, I think his name was.
So Jimmy said to me, “Are you interested in acquiring any other businesses?”
“Oh yeah, damn right,” I said. “Here’s the deal. Find me a funeral home next to a bar.”
“Are you serious?”
“Sure as shootin’. I’ll call it O’Brien and Sons Funeral Home and the bar next door would be The Paddy Wagon Bar and Grill.”
“That’s brilliant,” he said, laughing like hell.
Look at it this way. Poor Bozo Johnson buys the farm, hits the sky, bites the dust, whatever you wanna call it. And after you get through the wake line wishing your fond farewells, you can walk next door and lower a few down for good old Bozo. Then the next day they bury the poor bastard and you put away your handkerchief, leave the boneyard and head to the bar again. Everybody meets at the Paddy Wagon to tell stories and swap lies about the bum.
I’m tellin’ ya, this is a winner. But damn it I just found out if you own a funeral home in Massachusetts, you can’t also own a bar. I bet they’d let you do it in Texas.
Keep your dukes up.