Popping Off

OK so I taught you guys the Vince McMahon power walk (you’re welcome). Now you’re really gonna thank me for this breaking news alert—we’re running into a popcorn shortfall, Bucko!

Even if they had plenty of popcorn, movie theatres aren’t sure they’ll have the bags and buckets to put it in. Another production shortage. That’s big trouble, Cannonball Kennedy. Won’t be long before we’re dealing with the same bullwinkle with Good & Plenty and Mike & Ike. What the Christ?

Apparently Mr. Green Jeans and other farmers are switching from growing popcorn to the more profitable soybeans. They say popcorn can be temperamental to grow. No kidding, Slip Mahoney, that stuff is always popping off. Fertilizer costs are also impacting the shift to soybeans. How the hell much can cow and horse manure cost? 

I’m a big consumer of popcorn. Have been ever since I was a kid. I’ve got a couple of those Whirley Popcorn Poppers. It’s a stovetop rig you crank. Throw in some oil, one cup of Orville Redenbacher’s, heat up the butter, add the salt. Nothin’ better, Billy Boy. I gotta stop talkin’. I’m headed to Big Y to grab another jar of Orville’s original while I still can. And when I get back, I’m gonna get that Whirley crankin’ and pop up a big bowl, sit down with a can of Coors Banquet and rewatch the fourth season of Yellowstone. That’s it, kid.

Keep your dukes up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5rpAqfd35Q

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