No Girls Allowed
I don’t get it. Why don’t girls play baseball? Instead, they’re stuck with an oversized neon beach ball lobbed from the mound underhand.
Everybody thinks Abner Doubleday invented baseball. The way Buck Norman tells it, Abner was a poser who didn’t invent anything but Doublemint gum. Baseball was really invented by women in England and it was called Stoolball.
Albert “A.J.” Spalding, you know, the big shot sporting goods magnate, created the myth that Abner Doubleday invented the game of baseball in Cooperstown. It was also Spalding who later declared baseball was off-limits to girls. To use that famous baseball shout out, “A.J., yer a bum!”
Things got worse when Ham Porter in the movie The Sandlot said to an opposing player, “You play ball like a girl.” Then girls really got called out on strikes when Title IX kicked in allowing girls participation in sports—except baseball. Little League baseball did everything they could to keep girls out of the game. They got sued, which is why the bastards created Little League girls’ softball.
So here’s the deal. Boys’ participation in baseball has been declining for quite a while. They are more interested in action lacrosse and soccer. To a lot of boys, baseball is boring. If you start girls’ baseball leagues, you’ll see an increase in youth participation which will help these youth programs survive.
Attendance is also in decline at major league ballparks. The MLB could drive attendance and merchandise sales with girls’ baseball leagues. Ain’t too hard to figure out boys. Hey, if anybody wants to sponsor girls’ baseball clinics, we’ll do the branding and promotion for zippo. Give me a call. Girls playing baseball ...it’s past time. Keep your dukes up.