Fruitcake

With all that’s goin’ on out there, I’m gonna go a little looney bird to lighten it up. This is a crazy time of the year. From Halloween through Christmas, I take a lot of zingers from people. Mostly because of a coupla things I like that almost everybody else hates. You know, I get the love/hate thing better than most, because that’s been said about me. “Yeah, Darby. Ya either love the guy or hate him.” Hey, at least it’s that clear. Who gives a damn, Windbag Callahan.

Anyway, around Halloween you start seeing supermarket displays of good ol’ candy corn. The original Halloween candy is still going strong, Fleabag Finnegan. The Jelly Belly Candy Company made 63 million kernels of candy corn last year. Brach’s pumped out 30 million pounds of it. Most people hate the goddamn stuff. I love it. Almost as much as I love fruitcake, which has an even worse reputation than candy corn.

Hey Ray, the fruitcake is the original energy bar. The Brits get it, but in America it’s a Christmas punchline. So much so that we did this holiday card for one of our clients last year:

Here’s what I predict. The fruitcake is ripe for a comeback. Some hotshot chef or Brooklyn bakery will develop a well-crafted fruitcake and it will be bigger than Twinkies and Pop Tarts. Mark my words.

Keep your dukes up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_QvvboZYZ0

If you know someone who’d like these ditties in their inbox every week, have ‘em shoot us an email at darbyo@darbyobrien.com and we’ll add ‘em to the list.